By Dirty Dan
I’m sure you’ve seen those stupid commercials for Snuggies. The world’s one and only blanket cloak. It shows people wearing them in an assortment of colors, on the couch, in bed, at their kid’s sporting event, etc. It is yet another product that should just be incinerated and destroyed. The only value this shit provides is humor while watching those stupid ass commercials.
As ridiculous a concept as it is, for some reason, the Snuggie keeps popping up in my life outside of those commercials. First, my girlfriend received a card in the mail telling her that her Snuggie order was delayed due to high demand over the holidays. She didn’t order one, nor did I. We thought it may have been someone trying to play a sick joke by ordering that piece of shit and sending it for Christmas or something. Then we determined that it was actually a scam when she googled the card she received.
Today, I was looking over my bank statement and I came across some charge on my account for $67 and change. After trying to recall any and all drunken nights I’ve had over the last week or two, and whether I was drunk enough to order a Snuggie for some unknown reason, I determined that this was IMPOSSIBLE. There is absolutely NO WAY that I would order that bullshit. I’d sooner order a Chia Pet or something. On the other hand, my girlfriend has been known to smmoke a bowl and order stupid shit off of those infomercials, but she assured me that even she would not buy that crap.
Next to the charge, it said “SNUGGIE800-6638166”. I called the number, but there was no mention of any product, and it asked you to hit any of four options. None of the options actually take you anywhere. It’s a dead phone number. But how did they get my card info?!?!? the only thing I can think of is that I left my card at a bar last Friday night (I’ll have to write about that story another time. It’s a good one though!), and picked it up the following day. But would someone on the bar staff order a Snuggie just to order a Snuggie? I wonder if someone saw the commercial at the bar and ordered one using my card. That’s so fucked up.