Dirty Brits Procreate Like It’s Nobody’s Business.

By Dirty Dan

13 year old baby

Just when you thought this world was fucked up enough.  Less than a week after some dumb bitch in California made headlines for having children # 7-15 in one sitting– even though she can’t afford her first 6- this headline comes out of England.  No word on whether this story is true or not, but if it is, it appears as though the Brits are trying to compete with us for the ‘World’s Dumbest People’ Award.  A 13 year old boy and his 15 year old girlfriend had unprotected sex about 9 months ago.  The rest, you can predict.  The kid, ahem, father, looks more like he’s 8 years old.  I guess that means that the baby will grow up to look young, assuming the parents don’t accidentally kill him or something.  How do children so young decide to keep a baby?  There are just so many things wrong with this.  Well, in my opinion, I guess.  Technically, if they were old enough to conceive, I guess that makes it scientifically plausible.  I don’t know that that makes it right though.

 

In Any Event, Happy Valentines.  Do us all a favor today.  If you can’t afford- or understand- children, try not to conceive.

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Dirty Valentine

By Dirty Dan

An oldy, but a goodie.  Valentines Day Cartoon by David Firth.

Happy VD

By Dirty Dan

thom_valentine

It’s a day early, but that bird gets the worm.  😉

Inglorious Basterds Looks Dirty as Hell!!!

By Dirty Dan

inglorious-basterds

I saw the first trailer for Quentin Tarantino’s next film, Inglorious Basterds yesterday (see below).  Whether you like Quentin Tarantino or not, you have to admit that he knows how to portray fetish-style violence with the best of ’em.  I personally can’t wait to see how he interprets Nazi Killing in WWII.  If the trailer is any indication, it should be one hell of a dirty ride.  I’m sure it will include his trademark excessive blood and close up foot shots, as well as hit or miss dialogue about mundane topics.  It also includes that guy from The Office, as well as that kid from Freaks and Geeks, who actually looks like he never aged!!

He’s supposedly been developing the script for this for over a decade.  I read somewhere that he had originally intended for it to be a Western, but I guess it evolved.  After the Kill Bill movies, I’d be interested to see him do almost any genre. 

WTF Snuggie?!?!?

By Dirty Dan

For some reason, people love these ridiculous snuggies.  I can tell based on the amount of random people who find the Dirty White Blog.  A large percentage of them find it by searching for words like ‘snuggie’, ‘snuggie scam,’ snuggie sucks’, etc.  Therefore, I’ve posted the ‘parody’ video above.  It captures my sentiments toward the snuggie, exactly.  Basically, if you want to be a tool, wear a snuggie.

Ticketmaster Is Dirty

By Dirty Dan

ticketmaster2

A few days ago, I read that Bruce Springsteen fans were making some noise about Ticketmaster, and how they tried to buy tickets to his concerts, only to be redirected to another ticket site that cost more than double face value.  Not only that, but the website that they were directed to was owned by Ticketmaster.  Why did it take so long for anyone to raise this issue?  Ticketmaster has been doing dirty business like this for years.  It’s never been easy to get tickets to popular events through ticketmaster.  If you try to get them online, it sells out in 30 seconds, sometimes less.  Nobody bothers using the phone system anymore, but that was horrible too.  Even their multiple presales through various sponsors such as American Express sell out ridiculously fast.  Then, the only way to get tickets is to buy them off of one of their other, more expensive sites, or find some scalper on ebay or craigslist.  Sometimes, you can manage to get lucky and find someone who genuinely bought tickets to go to the show, but then something came up and they resell them for face value.  I’ve done that before myself.

I understand the concept of Capitalism, and that there is a market for high interest tickets.  I even understand the motives of a scalper.  I mean, if you’re lucky enough to get tickets to a popular event, you should be entitled to sell the tickets for profit.  Why not?  My problem is that Ticketmaster blatantly does this.  Tickets are already overpriced due to bullshit fees and convenience charges.  If a ticket is on sale for $35, it ends up being closer to $45-50 when Ticketmaster is done with them.  With that said, where do they get off dumping most of their tickets to another site that they can then turn them around for more money.  That doesn’t seem legit.  And why did it take Springsteen Fans in 2009, 20+ years past his prime to discover and complain about this scam?  When Pearl Jam complained about this same bullshit in the early 90’s, they were beat down like a nerd with a retainer.

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