Tag Archives: California

California is Dirty, and I LOVE It!

By Dirty Dan

arnold_pot

I came across this article this morning.  Apparently in this current time of the Apocalypse, desperate times call for ‘desperate‘ measures.  Over the past decade and beyond, the State of California has drowned itself in debt due to an over abundance of ‘social programs’ that enable those less fortunate to reap the benefits of those who aren’t.  Long story short, you think the US economy is in the shitter?  The California State economy has slimed it’s way down the shitter, and is sitting in a pile of rot and used feminine products in the septic tank.  So, naturally, all of the politicians are scrambling for ideas on how to save face.  One such idea was recently concocted (or should I say, re-presented as original) by Democratic State Assembly member Tom Ammiano.  He wants to legalize marijuana and give the state additional tax revenue on the $14+ billion industry that is this cash crop.

Now, not only does this sound Utopian because I’m a born-again stoner, but it also makes perfect sense.  I mean, you see all the arguments for and against pot, but one thing remains true…  all of the other legal drugs (alcohol, tobacco and, yes, even caffeine) have been linked to death.  Alcohol especially, leads to deaths of others through drunk driving/wife beating/etc. But you never hear about stoners crashing into walls or baby carriages on the street, and you certainly don’t read about the stoner who went on a shooting rampage.  Stoners are chill.  It’s part of the culture!  So, why wouldn’t the government want to open the door for all of that extra revenue?  I mean, generally speaking, it seems that law enforcement officials have better things to do these days than stroll through a park and rough up a few hippies for that dime bag in their pocket. 

Legalization of marijuana would benefit EVERYONE.  And I challenge you to prove me wrong.  The government would make money.  The stoner would pay less because it’d no longer be illegal.  The dealer would either be forced to move on to harder, more profitable drugs, or get a job at a video store (or do countless other things).  And nobody gets hurt.  Period.  The fact remains that people who want to smoke pot, will smoke pot.  Legal or not, they still have avenues to find it, buy it and smoke (or bake) it.  AND, it would subject the American people to less useless news stories about celebrity pot scandals.  Maybe then we could collectively focus on bigger, more personally relevant issues that should be the focus of our attention!!! (last dirty white blog plug, I promise)

All in all, what’s the big deal people???  All the right players are in place in CA (see picture above), so let’s get down to business!  After all, what better way to introduce a little joy into this sullen world?  To quote Jay from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, “Yo! You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that.”

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Dirty Brits Procreate Like It’s Nobody’s Business.

By Dirty Dan

13 year old baby

Just when you thought this world was fucked up enough.  Less than a week after some dumb bitch in California made headlines for having children # 7-15 in one sitting– even though she can’t afford her first 6- this headline comes out of England.  No word on whether this story is true or not, but if it is, it appears as though the Brits are trying to compete with us for the ‘World’s Dumbest People’ Award.  A 13 year old boy and his 15 year old girlfriend had unprotected sex about 9 months ago.  The rest, you can predict.  The kid, ahem, father, looks more like he’s 8 years old.  I guess that means that the baby will grow up to look young, assuming the parents don’t accidentally kill him or something.  How do children so young decide to keep a baby?  There are just so many things wrong with this.  Well, in my opinion, I guess.  Technically, if they were old enough to conceive, I guess that makes it scientifically plausible.  I don’t know that that makes it right though.

 

In Any Event, Happy Valentines.  Do us all a favor today.  If you can’t afford- or understand- children, try not to conceive.

Donkey Punch, the Movie?

By Dirty Dan

donkey-punch

I read a film review in AMNY this morning on my way into work.  The film is called Donkey Punch, and yes, it is referring to that donkey punch.  (Note:  AMNY gave the film  3 out of 4 stars).  Of course, this could not possibly get green lit in the United States because we’re too ‘politically correct’ to ever release such a film.  But since they did it over in the U.K., I guess more liberal minded cities such as New York and anywhere in California will definitely jump on board and release it in a few theaters.  I’m all for it.  It looks like a cheesy horror/suspense/fetish thriller movie along the lines of Hostel or any number of others, but the one thing that creates interest is the infamous donkey punch.  I doubt I’ll head to the local theater for this, but if it ever ends up at Blockbuster, I’m there.