Sinners Repent, the End is Near…

By Dirty Dan

Have you ever been walking down a city street, minding your own business, and some asshole starts preaching to you about the end of the world?  Dirty Dick sent me a link to the picture above and it reminded me of one such occurrence that happened the saturday before 9-11-01.  My brother came to visit with his girlfriend at the time, and she was ‘not from around here’, so naturally, we did what everyone has to do when someone from out of town comes to visit New York City.  We took her on a tour of all of the city’s greatest tourist traps.  Times Square, Rockefeller Center, ferry ride, etc.

While we were rounding a corner near Rockefeller Center, we came across some loud mouth religious-type who was spouting off something or other about the Apocalypse.  I have seen many of these people in my time.  While I could give two shits what anyone believes in a religious sense, I can’t stand when they try to force their beliefs on anyone and everyone within earshot.  Not only is it noise pollution, but it’s almost as annoying as those other idiots who go door to door trying to hand out the way of the Lord.  If I want to read about the good Lord, that’s what libraries and Church is for.  (NOTE TO RELIGIOUS NUTS:  You can’t convert someone who has no interest in converting, so you’re just wasting your time, and that of everyone else.)

Anyway, as we approached this kook, I was annoyed listening to his verbal diarrhea.  I yelled out something to the effect of “Hey asshole!  I hear all of you dipshits yelling about the end of the world.  When is it going to happen already?!?!?!”  He stopped talking for a moment and chillingly stared at me.  Finally, he started yelling directly at me, saying “WHEN THE END COMES, GOD WILL NOT SAVE YOU” or some mumbo-jumbo.  I thought nothing of that day, until about 3 days later when two planes crashed into the World Trade Center.  Then, it occured to me:  Wow!  How coincidental that was!

Trust me.  If God exists, the last thing he cares about is some asshole on a soapbox trying to convince you that he knows what he is talking about.  And, if that is exactly what God cares about, I have no interest in spending eternity in the afterlife if I have to hang out with more assholes than I hang out with here in this life.